Getting someone to Trust You: Starting the process

Sixth in the series of ‘How to Win More Business face-to-face’.

NB If you’re reading this on a mobile phone and can’t see the video to click on, here’s the link

Building trust with another human being is a complicated process – both psychologically and in terms of our social intelligence. But it’s NOT a LONG process. And the research shows that we make a decision about how much we trust someone within anything from about 10 seconds to about 10 minutes of meeting them FOR THE FIRST TIME.

But YOU don’t want complicated theories. You want SIMPLE and PRACTICAL: And so do I.

In this series, I will be giving you a total of 3 simple, powerful strategies for building trust, and the first is this:

We call this technique ‘A Disclose’ or ‘A Disclosure’.

In any situation where someone asks you what you do, you’re probably pretty good at ‘telling’ them about your job or industry title, your experience and your credentials. But have you ever realised how this does absolutely nothing to start building any trust?

And, when someone asks you what you do, are they really very interested in the answer? Well perhaps, but in my experience, it’s much more likely that they are just being polite.

However – and this is the big learning in this article – virtually everyone is interested in a POTENTIALLY PROFITABLE RELATIONSHIP with you: and I’m not just talking about money, although that would be nice too, wouldn’t it?

So what exactly is ‘A Disclose’ or ‘A Disclosure’, and how does it start to build trust with the other person, often resulting in us making more money?

Simply, it’s revealing something about YOU that shows your human side.

Not in a random, social chit-chat, small talk kind of way. But a fact or several facts about you that you have made A PART OF YOUR STORY that when you share it in a business environment, it makes you more attractive.

Interested? Then read on …

You see, like it or not, when you show a carefully selected part of your vulnerable side, people, in general will warm to you – because you’re ‘normal’ or ‘just like them’. And one of the pillars of Influence is, ‘We like people who are like us’.

And because you know that you have human weaknesses, as well as human strengths, when you meet someone who is prepared to share theirs with you, it helps to create additional rapport and connection.

But the problem is, in business, that we tend to do whatever we think will protect us, by remaining professional, maybe even trying to be ‘perfect’ in the false belief that if we disclose our imperfections, then we will be taking some kind of risk that could result in loss of some kind.

Let me tell you, nothing could be further from the truth.

But the things that you reveal or disclose about yourself must be carefully and closely managed.

To find out how to do this effectively, watch the video in this article, enjoy it, learn from it, and test out this idea for yourself.

And yes, when you watch the video, you will see me hesitate and almost use a rude word that I was thinking at the time. See if you can spot it. The first ten people to let me know what I was about to say will get a FREE copy of ‘Spend Four Hours in a Telephone Box’, my wife’s wonderful book containing 20 short stories that illuminate some powerful human principles of Influence, Love and Success.

Thanks for staying with me on this journey together. I never take anything for granted and appreciate our connection. I wish you all the success you wish for yourself.

Comment now and gain an extra link back to your website.


Posted on July 6, 2011, in Compel Your Audience to Buy, Get The Results You Want, Have Fun with Your Business, How to ..., Personal Branding, Psychology & Influence, The Business of Show, Wealth Creation and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Thank you QJ for sharing the tip, so very true how much trust you can build when you are prepared to show your human side. I also find sharing as you are doing also builds trust because you aren’t selling.

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