Monthly Archives: November 2010

You could be famous. What are you waiting for?

Fame is no longer the preserve of the Rich and the Riotous.

Celebrity is no longer a career choice just for the Talentless.

Recognition is no longer a reward reserved for World-Class Achievers.

YOU could become famous just FOR BEING YOU! And that’s what I would thoroughly recommend. Read the rest of this entry

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The Loneliness of the Entrepreneur

As the song Killer by Seal says, ‘It’s loneliness that’s the killer’.

If I were to know what one single reason is responsible for very small businesses giving up, I’d guess it was being on your own! It can be really demotivating, demoralising, and ultimately, the death of your business.

‘A problem shared is a problem halved’, is what my dad used to say. And there is a psychological and scientific basis for this belief. Read the rest of this entry

Fear of Success or Fear of Failure – X Factor becomes psychologists’ field-day – I’d like to know what you think.

Rewarding any behaviour, whether it be good or bad, tends to increase the chances of that behaviour being repeated – I doubt there is anyone who would disagree with this psychological principle.

So when we see Katie on X-Factor saved this week despite the fact she – in her capacity as a ‘professional’ (I use the term loosely) contestant – behaved badly by not singing to the end of her song properly in the sing-off, smacks of the ‘spoiled brat’ syndrome. And it condones her behaviour as being not detrimental to her career, giving a message of ‘it’s alright to be a diva, a prima donna, or whatever you want to call it’.

We are all witnessing behavioural standards in our society eroded by such exhibitions especially in the young.

That’s one issue, but not the one I’m particularly interested in.

What interests me more is this question: Is it fear of success or fear of failure that motivates or triggers the individual to behave in this way?

In the early stages of this series of X Factor, we saw both Katie and Cher flunk their auditions and, despite this, they were both put through by Cheryl Cole.

Watching the girls as they exhibited these behaviours, my take was that they were both doing that subconscious ‘fear of success’ thing. You know, feelings of inadequacy, I don’t deserve this, what if I were to win? It’s the old comfort zone thing kicking in, isn’t it? And, as we saw, people can and do actually influence their physical condition, acquiring coughs and colds, or losing their voice for example. Although success on the X Factor looks like a powerful motivator, people can easily sabotage because the subconscious knows that massive change will result if the success happens, so they give themselves a sore throat so if they screw up they have an excuse.

And then there was Mary, this week, who also flunked her performance. Here – I thought – was a much clearer case of fear of success. Success would change Mary’s life probably even more significantly given her age and background.

But what is really going on here? Are we just more tolerant of ‘bad’ behaviour in our society now or is the cultural psyche of the nation dramatically changing? What if the judges had sent Katie home instead of Trayc. That would – at least – at some level give a message of ‘bad behaviour can result in punishment’.

But then it might just be me – my perception – calling it bad behaviour, when to other people it’s just Katy being acceptably emotional!

The point is we know that entire societies change the benchmarks for what is acceptable and what isn’t over time. History shows us this in what appear to be increasingly shorter time scales. Political Correctness is perhaps the biggest example in recent times.

So where am I going with this?

Well, this is my question: Were Katy, Trayc and Mary all exhibiting fear of failure, fear of losing, which is what it might look like to the untrained eye, or was it actually fear of success?

I like to know what you think.